When a couple comes to me for marital therapy, there’s often a thick wall with very specific bricks that are dividing them and preventing them from hearing one another and connecting. Part of my job, as I see it, is to help the couple appreciate and understand the bricks that make up that wall and how they formed. Fear and hurt often loom as classic components.
Every couple has its own specific challenge. And, although no two couples are the same, there is this unifying challenge around intimacy and how to be connected and stay connected. There is no cookie cutter approach to couple’s work. I help couples use the inevitable problems with sex and intimacy to help them grow present time consciousness in relationship to one another.
Among traditional approaches, I integrate many of these from leading experts, including David Schnarch’s book, Passionate Marriage. The objective is to help a couple learn how to stand strong in their own skin in relationship to one another, as opposed to leaning on one another in order to feel strong. It’s moving couples out of a co-dependent role to a more holistic self-validated position.